Ken's Take: It's a Holly Jolly-OMG SANTA'S COMING!!!!

(Photo by kevindooley via Flickr.com)

It's Wednesday, and that means it's time for that post. The one that shows up to your Halloween party in khakis and a a t-shirt that has "Unfrigginbelievable" spelled out on it and calls themselves the god of PNWage. The one that you talk to at the water cooler with certain sense of respect because you know last Saturday it beat the living crap out of someone at a certain club that you go to. The one that will happily supply you with a kitten and a pair of boxing gloves after a bad break-up. The one that will always be there, whether you want them to be or not, watching your back, in a "I just wanted to test out my new night vision goggles and I thought you'd understand" sort of way. That post.

Today's title was inspired by two things: this clip, and the fact that the holiday season has officially kicked in. How do I know this? Well, simply put, I noticed that my neighbors put up Christmas lights and tinsel. That's about it. ... Oh! And Starbucks has their Christmas-y (Christmas-ee? Christmas-ie?) drinks out now, and thus the holiday season was been born out of wedlock between a surge of consumer spending and corporate marketing. Honestly though, 'tis the season to be jolly. It really is! It also happens to be one of the only times I can say 'tis without getting weird looks. And during this marvelous season we are reminded of the things that matter through: Santa, gifts, in-laws, eggnog, and any other assortment of items only really available during this time of year.

However, it is during this particular time of year that my role as "the Destroyer of Childhoods" really shines through. (For those of you unaware, that is one of my titles along with: "the Harbinger of Adventure or Possibly a List of Errands that I wish to accomplish" and "the Covenant PWNer".) Now for those of you that know how a title work, it is well established that a good title is not simply self-proclaimed (although the best tend to be) but must be earned through blood, sweat, tears, and the occasional mishap. My particular title stems from one of my favorite things to bring up during this time of year and that is this: An Engineer's Perspecitve to Santa Claus. Go ahead and read it.

Right now.

I'll wait.

Now that you've read it, let me tell you right now that I am a firm believer in Santa Claus. In fact, every year I eat some milk and cookies as a way of paying my respects to him. I believe that there was once a being who was joyous and cheerful and just gave away presents for the hell of it. I also believe that he was a friggin' genius and was able to create a way to modify reindeer and a sleigh to accelerate him from 0 to 650 meters per second within one thousandth of a second. I also believe that he thought he was made of some sort of unbreakable alloy like wolverine, just bubblier. And lastly, I believe that he foolishly got into his sleigh and hit the little red button, the very same little red button that Tommy Lee Jones even says not to touch, and subsequently got himself killed. Maybe if he was wearing a suit he would've survived...

Anyways, after telling this story to a large group I subsequently found myself labeled as "the Destroyer of Childhoods" a title that I take no issue bearing with pride. I see it as a sort of achievement, but not just any achievement like making a flying motorcycle or punching a dragon in the face, but rather as a more personal achievement that no one else can really do. Kind of.

Anyways, the whole point I'm trying to make here, albeit through laughable means and effort, is that I'm kind of looking forward to the coming days of the holidays. As a general rule of thumb, they tend to be both fun and adventurous. I'll be sure to keep things update amongst the hustle and bustle of things.

-Ken

EDIT: Removed Santa Tag